I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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