Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
