I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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