I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i think i just lost a toe
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
