you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize