6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
