the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
