Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
