But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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