You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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