last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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