Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
