u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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