first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Michael Bay diarrhea
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
