All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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