im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
