What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
