Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
