She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
