You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nicole vs. Life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
