something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
