Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize