just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
