I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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