You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize