where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
