My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
