from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
