I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Quick, to the slutcave!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
