Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
