He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
