and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize