i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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