After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
