We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dear god my vagina.
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