butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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