she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize