so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
