just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
