i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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