So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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