I think I won the penis lottery.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
