This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
