i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
