Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
