You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Couch. On fire.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
