he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize