Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
