if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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