I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize