I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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