She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize