Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
