Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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