my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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