Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
