I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
