i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
