oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
