OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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