when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize