I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
