can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
