i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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