im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
