I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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