he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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