I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
only you would photoshop your dick
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
