no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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