Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drunk is not a location!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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