im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
