you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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